Yuka's Title For Kizami
by IchigoHatake
Summary: Yuka couldn't be Kizami's little sister. She had a different title for him, that is, before he went insane. Yuka finds herself all alone and writes a song expressing her feelings as she flashbacks to when Kizami captured her. Why is she so sad? Why does she miss him so much? Song and story written by both me and Pokegirl185. KizamixYuka one-shot.


I never thought I'd feel this alone. It was enough that I had been separated from onii-chan, but Kizami...and after I...in my loneliness, before I managed to find the others, I'd shut myself away in a room and wrote a song. The school counselor said it helps to write down one's feelings, but it did little to soothe me after all.  
_Onii-chan, why did you leave me?_  
_I'm so scared all by myself_  
_Onii-chan, please find me_  
_I can't stand this hell..._  
I recall having been left alone, wondering if onii-chan was even alive or not. The thought of him dying was unbearable. That's a word onii-chan had used for this place, "hell." I usually didn't reference hell outside of my Sunday school class, but that word seemed the most suitable for this unending nightmare.

The loneliness saddened me to the point where i would lose my cheery demeanor. Where was onii-chan? I-I felt like crying. I just wanted to go back to the real world. Why did this have to happen to all of us? It was a matter of time before i realized i felt a warm liquid run down my face. I was crying...

_But then he came along, that Kizami_  
_Claiming that he was looking for his little sister_  
_And that he'd search with me_  
_Little did I know that he'd faked her..._  
After meeting up with Kizami, I wasn't alone anymore, though I was still scared. I felt a bit more at ease though, knowing he was in the same situation I was, searching for a lost sibling. And after a while, I started to trust him more and more.  
_But then I learned of his insanity_  
_No, I'm not your little sister!_  
_I won't let you have me_  
_You're one crazy mister_  
I had to admit, before Kizami got psychotic and hunted me down, I had developed a small crush on him, similar to my feelings I had for onii-chan, only more...poignant? His immense strength impressed me. And he had seemed so kind, now leaving me to whimper. He was my first crush...

I sobbed into my hands. H-He tricked me. My first crush! I didn't understand his needing to kill me. If he wanted a sister, he would kill her? I didn't realize that I was ignorant to his true intentions. I kept scolding myself mentally. I realized that all humans have flaws and these were mines: my naïvety and my ability to trust people way too easily.  
_And he took advantage of me. That Kizami._  
_My first crush._  
_My future murderer..._  
_From our first encounter, my heart starting beating faster:_  
_doki, doki, doki, doki_  
I placed a hand over my heart. Even the thought of him makes my heart beat faster. But why?...

_You were about to bring that knife into me_  
_But I finally mustered the courage_  
_I was able to tell you my feelings_  
_Before an awful fate could occur_  
I had a flashback, remembering our conversation.  
_ "Yuka, how does it feel, knowing you're going to die?" his cold words sunk into my mind. He droned on and on about my death, and I kept screaming for my onii-chan. That kept making him angrier and angrier. And then suddenly, I realized, I really was on my own here. Onii-chan wouldn't make it in time at this rate. He didn't know of my danger. So I wanted to say something to Kizami. It might not stop him, but it was the truth. And I had to say it or I'd regret dying like this._  
_ "K-Kizami...?" I struggled to say his name, fear eating me alive. And I was sobbing so hard, I worried he wouldn't hear me._  
_ "What is it, imouto? Have you finally come to your senses?" He ended his sentence with yet another insane laugh._

_ His knife was dangerously close to me and I feared for my dear life but I had nothing to lose if I told him the truth. When I saw the insanity in his dark colored eyes, I got even more terrified. N-now I REALLY wish I used that bucket. I whimpered in fear but i didn't see anything change in his facial features. _  
_ "I-I-" I stuttered with fear and nervousness._  
_ "Yes? My dear, little sister?" The tone in his voice made it seem like he was almost mocking me. That didn't faze me one bit._  
_His eyes were cold._  
_His knife was stained._  
_Not a trace of emotion showed his face._  
_The moment of death was near._  
_ I needed to speak...but...I felt like I lost my ability to speak..._

_ No. I needed to do this. I wouldn't show him anymore fear. That sadist would only grin more. And I wondered what kind of reaction I'd get from him. Would he give me up as his little sister if I could become his...girlfriend?_

_ "You'll never be my onii-chan," I spat._

_ I cried out in sheer agony, the knife digging deep down into my arm, possibly going all the way down into the wood below me. A stared up at the dark ceiling of the room, knowing that if I looked down at my arm, I'd lose any courage I had left. I could feel just how much blood was pouring out from me and the pain seemed to flow in waves throughout my entire body. I had never felt anything like this before._

_ What was worse than the pain in my arm was this strange feeling in my chest. I felt like I was going to cry and I wanted to run away. But...this wasn't an emotion I completely recognized. I think they call it "heartbreak." It broke my heart to see Kizami in this mental state. I wanted so badly to help him._

_ "Y-You didn't let me finish my sentence," I whispered, unable to raise my voice any higher. I looked him straight in the eye, reminding myself over and over not to cry anymore. "You'll n-never be my onii-chan...because...b-because...I can't fall in love with my older brother."_

_ He let go of the knife, letting it rest inside of me. Before, he'd been using it to dug out more and more of my skin. I felt relieved to have him stop. Pain still throbbed within me, but it looked like I had grabbed his attention. Come on, Yuka. Keep going..._

_The blood loss was getting to me. I saw the room spinning in circles. My head was hurting so much... I could barely stay in consciousness. He had backed away in the process of removing the knife. I turned my head painfully to his direction, trying to look for a reaction to my words to be evident on his face. I-I did it! I confessed. And those were my last thoughts before I hit the cold, hard ground with a broken heart. I had fainted. But I fainted in the process of getting rid of the main thought in my head..._

_ I awoke to a terrible sight, however. I let out a scream, the loudest I ever had. I felt a pain in my head and I realized I was pulling out my hair. Tears blurred my vision as I stared at the bloody heap that was once Kizami. Looming over him was...that huge, buff ghost guy, the one with blood running down his face._

_ "W-Why did you do this?" I questioned him, angry tears falling more plentifully._

_"Guuaaah, heeelp...youaaahhh," His words were broken and forced out. It seemed to be difficult for him to communicate. It sounded like he'd been trying to save me from Kizami, to stop him from killing me. So did that mean that Kizami attempted to kill me after I had passed out? No. A note lay on the ground, slightly blood-covered. It was still legible though. It was from Kizami. He sounded...confused. And he...had given me an answer._

_What the hell is wrong with me? What have I become? I started with killing animals, but, how did it grow into this? Killing human beings? This sadistic obession will only strengthen. I know that. Yet...there's someone who sees what little good in me I have left, if any at all. Yuka. This note is for you. I hope you'll find it. I untied you and tied up your arm wound with my blazer, so hopefully I won't end up responsible for your death. Yuka, you were so adorable. I pitied you. I had a strange desire to assist you. I wanted so badly for you to become my little sister. Never in my entire life had I felt so...strange. I'd never...loved another human being so much before. And it's because I realize how much I like you that I have to leave you. I'm psychotic. It won't be long before I lose my mind again. So in the few moments I'm sane, I'll get far away from you. I don't want to kill you. This is the only way I can protect you. Good-bye, Yuka. It's a shame I didn't get to see you smile._

_-Yuuya Kizami_

_But you spared my life_

_You regained yourself_

_You wanted to be mine_

_But it wouldn't end well_

_Killed before you coul run_

_Now all I have is your memory_

_All you needed was a little sun_

_And you could have got that light from me..._

That all leads to where I am now, alone in this room. I'd probably never end up finding onii-chan by myself. I didn't have the guts to continue on anymore and my heart had been shattered. Kizami's note lay in my lap as I read it over and over again, having written my song on the other side.

"Kizami!" I cried out into the empty room. "If there's really such a thing as reincarnation, then I hope you'll be reborn as my onii-chan liked you wanted. Or...as someone I can come to fall in love with all over again. Be reborn as someone you won't hate yourself for being. And...if you're time on Earth really is over-" I broke down into more sobs. "-Then wait for me, because...I'm sorry, you wanted me to live, but...I can't take it anymore, Kizami! Kizami...Kizami...Y-Yuuya..."

I had to say his first name. At least once. I wish that I could go back in time, try to help him regain his sanity before the scene with Kurosaki occurred. But it's too late now...

"Kizami, my title for you isn't onii-chan. My title for you is, "my most cherished." Everyone keeps telling me I'm too young to fall in love, and that I'm only going to crush on boys and it won't be real love. But...Kizami...it felt like love to me..."


End file.
